**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
