Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm always down for nudity.
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