I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
where am i from again
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
