i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
