we're blogging at a bar
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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