Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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