well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
