My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
