I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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