S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
