He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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