He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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