Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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