Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
