I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
