It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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