i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
