Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
