new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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