Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize