After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
