I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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