I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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