dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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