I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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