why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The Olympian is in my bed
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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