At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
