so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
