You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
