I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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