dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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