I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
