It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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