I wish i was in the wii world.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
