soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
