one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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