I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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