Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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