I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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