Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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