She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
