Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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