I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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