College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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