Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
