Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
