just come out here and I will go home with you...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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