my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
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Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
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My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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