Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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