dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
