Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
