so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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