im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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