she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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