I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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