Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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