Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
