the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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