Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
