Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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