one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
