Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Found the puke drawer
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
