I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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