She said her name was "party"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
